Cinfulcinnamon's Blog

Size ~~~~ It Really Does Matter

Posted on: January 12, 2010

After publishing the blog about my time as the Manager of a Cincinnati area swingers club, I was absolutely deluged with emails from people thanking me for having been there. But the bulk of the email messages was about the lifestyle and why some couples have felt “left out” or “left behind” by a lot of clubs and groups.  Their main concerns had to do with what they called the “stigma” of their size. I’m hoping to address this with what little knowledge I have from my years in the lifestyle.

The introduction that I made to this blogging site says it all. I know a little about a lot. I can only speak from my experience. That is all I have to go on. So I will start from the beginning with that.

There are Lucky Ones. And by that I mean that through genetics, or science, or shear hard work, there are people who have the faces and bodies that all of Hollywood says we should have. If you notice…..all the crime scene shows have all these perfect looking (and under 35) people who are doing all this high-tech police work.  And they are able to solve all kinds of crimes with their VAST experience. Well, ask any cop, and he or she will tell you that you don’t get the kind of experience that these hard-bodied detectives get until you’ve been on the force and in the trenches for years, sometimes decades. But this is Hollywood, and everyone looks like they just stepped out of a magazine. That is the kind of crap that we are force-fed through all the media hype about looks.

The hard truth is this: If you are working full time, have a family, car, and a mortgage, you are lucky to be making ends meet. And that means that there is a lot of mac and cheese at your house.  And potatoes and breads….all the comfort foods. Because after a long day of the rat race, you are thrilled just to be able to come home to your house and family, have a meal and veg in front of the t.v. or the computer screen. Any extra money is spent on an extra portion of some kind of “managers special” meat selection from the grocery store and not on a gym membership. Besides, who has the time? And even if you have the time, the costs of all that healthy eating can make you need to have a part-time job to pay for it. If you have teenagers, then you already need a part-time job just to feed them. The greatest day of my life was when my son decided that he likes Ramen Noodles. And last year, I can tell you that we ate A LOT of ramen and peanut butter sandwiches. And we were screwed for a while when they had the salmonella poisoning scare out about the peanut butter. The healthy foods are expensive. I know we are all watching what we eat but it is just too damn expensive to take every herb and diet supplement and organically grown thing on the planet. So we settle. We try to skip a desert here and there. We’ll drink diet soda if we can. But the one thing that Americans are not going to give up doing is enjoying their food.

So, unless you were born one of the great bodied people, you are often called over-weight, big, thick, chunky, a BBW or BHM. But in my book, if you are any of those things, and you are comfortable in your own skin….then YOU are the Lucky Ones too.

I am not a small woman by any means. I am closer I think to almost being height/weight proportioned, than I am to being overly heavy. I only know that I have never been happy with my weight, and I fight with myself all the time about it. That makes me one of the Unlucky ones.  I’ve tried every diet on the planet, skipped this or that meal, worried about what I was going to wear or not wear when I go to the clubs and it really gets frustrating at times.

One of my very first experiences at a swing club happened many many years ago in Dayton, Ohio. It was at a club that is no longer there. When you walked into the place the first area you were in was the main social area. There were tables to sit at, no dance floor to speak of but this was where most of the mingling took place. I remember walking in and seeing a very over-weight couple sitting at a table. They were naked, and they each had a full plate of food from upstairs. Now myself? I had fasted all day so that my belly wouldn’t be sticking out at all when I put on the tight outfit that I was going to wear there that night. And I remember being shocked that they could just sit there eating and drinking and being naked too !!! I wandered on into the club still puzzled by what I had just seen. About half way through a glass of wine I went to the table and sat down with the people and introduced myself to them. We had a great time that night, just talking and sharing stories of the club we were in. I quickly learned that they had WAY more stories to tell about all the fun they had there than I did. And then it dawned on me why they had so much fun. They were happy with themselves. They didn’t care if people didn’t like their weight or the way they looked. THEY were happy. They were one of the most happily married couples I’ve ever met to this day in the lifestyle. I never forgot that lesson. And club owners need to take heed of the fact that if they make a certain portion of the swinging population feel as though they are not good enough to be in their establishments that is revenue that they are missing out on. I’ve said this a million times, if I’ve said it once in the past year. People only have so many entertainment bucks to spare in this economy. And in the summer the swingers clubs already take a hit.None of us are able to go spend a day on the river in our boats, or ride our motorcycles or do things with the kids AND go out to a club. So if they choose once or twice a month to indulge their swinger side, you’d better be welcoming. Because that 40 or 50 bucks are going to go to someone… and you might want to be that club.

This is part of  a series on my take on the Lifestyle. You can tune in….or go with another personality. With me…all you get is what I know. I don’t preach, and I don’t claim to be the Dear Abby of the Lifestyle. What I am, is a real woman who has been in this lifestyle a long time, as a single and in a couple. Some of the stuff I will share is funny. Some of it is sad, but it’s all real and I don’t sugar coat anything. So check me out on Twitter under CinfulCinnamon and my postings here will send you an alert so you’ll know that there is an earthly gem waiting for you on this page….lol

Peace and lots of winks



1 Response to "Size ~~~~ It Really Does Matter"

I can’t wait to see the rest of this…

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Goofy Me

I am: an Air Force vet, Mom, sister, friend, Lifestyler, and all-around smartass with a heart of gold. I have lived all over the far East and learned many things about people and cooking, art and true value. I like to share my experience with the rest of the world. I will be the most loyal friend or most annoying enemy you've ever known. Honest to a fault. My life has not always been easy, but it has never ever been boring.

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