Cinfulcinnamon's Blog

Jealousy ~ My take on the Green-Eyed One

Posted on: February 17, 2010

     On the websites that I am a member of, I sometimes will see what others have written, and it inspires the next blog.  Today, there was a woman with a question about the feelings that she was having in regards to another woman texting and calling her husband.  She wasn’t sure how to feel about it.  I feel that any way that she felt about it was ok.  She should work through the feelings, sort them out, and talk with her husband about it.  No one ever knows that they are doing something wrong unless we tell them our feelings on it. He could be totally innocent in the matter, and only be flattered that the woman is showing him attention.  Then again, left unchecked, the texting could lead to something else and he won’t see it happen until it’s too late. Unfortunately, sometimes men can be manipulated by women and they don’t know that they are over their heads until it’s too late. Don’t get me wrong, a woman can have the same thing happen.  That is why communication with your spouse or significant other is essential for keeping jealousy in check.

I have been in many relationships with significant others. And I’ve had my share of jealousy issues. Jealousy comes from insecurity in yourself. There is a very thin line between insecurity and egotism. You have to feel secure in yourself. Your masculinity or femininity. Your ability to do a good job at whatever you attempt. The body image that you have. And your overall sense of worth. We see our “worth” differently than others see us. I have a tendency to put myself in the “unworthy” category in many things. I am smart and have some education. But just enough to get me into trouble and keep me out of better paying jobs. But I wouldn’t trade my common sense and logical mind for any sheepskin hanging on the wall. But because of that I am sometimes jealous that I didn’t apply myself more in school so that at half a century old I am not in the financial position that I would like to be. This is a passing jealousy. I balance it with the reminder to myself that I am the healthiest person that I know at my age and still have the energy and looks of someone much younger. (if I’d known I was going to live this long I would have taken much better care of myself)..LOL

Here are some stupid examples of what jealousy can make you do:

I once dated a guy when I was in the service. He had his own room in a dorm on the first floor. I would sneak around to the back of the dorm and crawl in his window and we’d have sex for hours. One day I got off work early and went around the back of the dorm to sneak into that window only to look in and catch him with someone else. I punched my fist through the window and needed some stitches. And got written up for breaking the window. HOWEVER, not happy with that, I decided to get even with the bastard. I went to the local feed store (I was in texas) and bought one of those really big bags of dry dog food. Waited till night and dumped the whole bag into the front seat of the boyfriends new car. Then proceeded to turn the garden hose on it. Anyone that’s ever seen a bowl of dog food that’s gotten wet KNOWS what THAT  mess looks like. Jealousy..a little dab’ll do ya.

I have been evil in many ways because of jealousy. I’ve made friends with women because I thought they were interests of men that I was with…only to poison them against the men. I’ve also said bad things about the women to the man so that she wouldn’t be attractive to him. All kinds of things.

I have been able to change that behavior by about 95%. I am honest enough to know that it will never leave me completely. And I think a little sprinkling of it can keep a relationship spicy. As long as it’s channeled in the right way. Being in the swinging lifestyle for 13 years has helped a lot with it. Swinging makes jealousy absolutely unnecessary and stupid. But you must have a solid relationship for it to work. As I have said many times jealousy can be a killer. It will take up your time, it will make you unattractive to the person that you are jealous over, and in the end will kill any chance that you have with that person. Because you really can not make someone love you or want to stay with you out of jealousy. In the end you will be left alone with the green-eyed one and wonder what you did wrong. But if you are confident in yourself, and know what you bring to the table in regards to a relationship and let the chips fall where they may…you will be fine. Because the fates really do decide these things anyway. And they don’t like to be bothered by us mere mortals.

peace

Cinnamon

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Goofy Me

I am: an Air Force vet, Mom, sister, friend, Lifestyler, and all-around smartass with a heart of gold. I have lived all over the far East and learned many things about people and cooking, art and true value. I like to share my experience with the rest of the world. I will be the most loyal friend or most annoying enemy you've ever known. Honest to a fault. My life has not always been easy, but it has never ever been boring.

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