Cinfulcinnamon's Blog

~The Crumbs? or The Desert?~

Posted on: July 14, 2010

     Finding out which is meant for you….the Deserts in Life, or just the Leftover Crumbs can be one of the worst experiences in our lives.  And it’s a never-ending process.  Each experience can leave you full and happy, or begging for more and not understanding what has happened.  Am I being too vague?  I will try to explain better.

     Personal lives, professional lives and our emotional well-being hinge on how we believe the efforts that we put forth are perceived by others.  These others can be employers who control our paychecks.  They can be a spouse or significant other that lets us know how they feel about us and what we mean to them. 

     As humans we all have the desire to be accepted by others.  And depending on how we were raised, and the amount of self-confidence we have, that desire can take on the emotion that gives us the most self-satisfaction.  If raised to feel good about ourselves and our abilities; then what we “expect” in the way of acceptance and to a certain degree – compensation can vary wildly.  Two people, trained exactly the same way to do the exact same job will be willing to take different salaries based on what they see as their net worth.  The one with the higher sense of self-will feel that their efforts should be rewarded higher than the other person that feels they don’t “bring as much to the table”.  And the employer can and will exploit that to their own ends.  In other words, egos are for sale these days.  How much crap are you willing to eat to be employed?  Or loved by someone? 

     We’ve all been walked on by someone who we trusted.  It’s a hurtful thing that happens.  What we learn from the experience will determine how many more times it happens in our life. But again, how someone is raised may determine how many times we let the same thing happen to us.  Our own self-worth or self-esteem tells us how much we should and could take.  And when to say. “Enough is enough”. And to make matters worse?  While we are grappling with our own decision on how much to take, there are the people out there gauging how much they can “give”.  And how long to your breaking point. Predator and Prey. Society reflects Nature in so many ways.  There are plenty of prey to feed the predators.  The people who will use, and step on others to get their place at the desert table.  Gorging themselves and leaving nothing but the crumbs for the rest.

      I know we’ve all seen this great cartoon.  And how many times have we felt like, “Hey, this is me.  I’ve got nothing left to lose so I may as well take some kind of a stand?”  Of course the last thought we have is usually, “Oh shit”, but that’s for another blog.  Look at it from the eagles point of view.  And picture the face of someone who you’ve turned the tables on before.  When you’ve acted out of character because you decided that you DID deserve better than what you were getting.  Doesn’t mean you were going to get it, but in your mind, the realization had come that you didn’t deserve crumbs anymore, you wanted the desert. The predator goes through some changes of his own when that happens.  A touch of panic; knowing they have lost the power over the prey that they had.  And then the anger. Most predators are insecure individuals that have been treated badly in their past.  They usually started out as prey. Then found someone smaller that they could dominate.  And the satisfaction that they got from that fueled the need for more and more power over others.

     It’s my personal opinion that we all start out as prey.  And the influences in our life will steer us down the path of predator or the path of prey.  How we handle this journey will determine where we end up. Keeping your heart soft but protected will serve to make you the right kind of predator.  One that looks out for its own welfare, but isn’t afraid to share and be kind to others.  Letting the bad experiences in our lives harden our heart will make us the kind of predator that sees evil in everyone, always wary of attack and forever looking over their shoulder.

     I think the choice is ours. To be predator or prey.  Always the victim, or always the oppressor.  And where we choose to sit at the Desert Table is our choice too. If you are forever happy with taking what is leftover from everyone…and do nothing to change your place there.  Or if you are always happy being the bully and taking from others when you’ve done nothing to deserve the rewards…..have at it.  One day, the table will turn for each of these.  And the ending could very well be something unexpected.

peace,

Cinnamon

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3 Responses to "~The Crumbs? or The Desert?~"

great post. the choice is always ours but, as you stated, choices are colored by the events in our lives. Speaking as someone on the low end of the self-esteem spectrum, the greatest struggle I face is maintaining a sense of self worth, especially when being grateful for the crumbs is the highest aspiration one is supposed to achieve, even in the face of countless desserts.

Thank you for the comment. And coming from a background myself with parents (rest their souls…I love you Mom and Dad) that were just good solid citizens who taught us all to “Aspire to Mediocrity” it has been a very long struggle…….to be continued.

Maintaining self-worth is vital but, in the end, I suppose it all depends on where one draws the line on such things – desert or crumbs? Sometimes, some of something is better than none of something…

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Goofy Me

I am: an Air Force vet, Mom, sister, friend, Lifestyler, and all-around smartass with a heart of gold. I have lived all over the far East and learned many things about people and cooking, art and true value. I like to share my experience with the rest of the world. I will be the most loyal friend or most annoying enemy you've ever known. Honest to a fault. My life has not always been easy, but it has never ever been boring.

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