Cinfulcinnamon's Blog

~~~Shame~~~

Posted on: July 16, 2010

     While watching one of my idols on t.v. yesterday,  (and NO, I won’t mention his name) I heard him talk about “fighting fair” and it sounded a lot like the blog I had written on the subject a few days ago.  Was he reading my postings?  Ohhhhh….I could only hope.  But then, he happened to start talking about something that I was going to write about today and I really was amused.  I could only hope to think as clearly as this guy. 

     I’ve always been a pretty black and white kind of girl.  I know how I feel about a subject pretty much in just a few seconds.  Now, how I choose to express my feelings on the matter may take longer.  If I just blurt out what I think, or write it down, or text it to someone without the filtering process…..I sometimes get into trouble.  Those that know me excuse my brash and sometimes harsh ways, but they understand them.   But if I have chosen to be PC, or I’m speaking to an imbecile and must speak in their terms, I will take some time before answering.  That reminds me of the old joke about the country boy who went into the Army.  He was the first in his family to get a little bit of education and so was writing home from boot camp to his Daddy.  He wrote:  “Dear Daddy,  I’m writing this real slow cause I know you can’t read real fast”…. My Dad told me that one many years ago and it still makes me laugh.  And before anyone thinks that I would put down anyone from the country….well, you’d better read some of my other blog posts and you’ll see I’m as country as turnip greens and pork feet !!! 

     Back to the subject at hand.  Man has always been imperfect.  Mistakes have been made since the Garden of Eden if you believe that way.  And incidentally, if you do….I think Eve was Framed.   But that’s just my opinion.  From the time of the Garden, or from the time that we crawled out of the ocean ooze, we’ve been tripping over ourselves.  And as sure as we are falling down when we try to stand up, there’s someone there to laugh at us.  But usually after they laugh at us, they lend us a hand to get up.  And together we move on.  Whether down the evolutionary chain, or on to the next fig tree to pick out the new spring wardrobe. 

     We all make mistakes.  The hard part is admitting it.  And learning from the mistakes.  And promising not to do it again.  There was a  time when promises mattered.  When you could just look someone in the eye and say, ” You have my word on it”.  And the other person knew they could count on that.  And you would break your back before you broke that promise.  But if something happened, and you did break that promise….you were ashamed about it.  You felt bad.  Period.  And you knew that it would be a long time before that other person trusted you again.  So you worked even harder to re-gain their trust.  And even harder to keep it if you were lucky enough to get a second chance.

     Things are different now for some.  They have the blame game.  Definitions are changed.  When someone said they were going to do something may actually mean something totally different.  Whereas looking in someone’s eye and saying that they had your word on it was the way things were done in the past.  Or shaking their hand to seal the deal confirmed your sole intention to fulfill an obligation.  That’s not the case anymore.  Now, just like my idol said, you must have it in writing.  And it had better have been more than some agreement that you scribbled on a cocktail napkin. Although that might work for Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Rick Kendrick, you won’t find many people anywhere that will accept that.  It had better be filed in triplet, notarized and witnessed.  And why you may ask.  Simple.  Because shame is irrelevant now.  No one is ashamed of themselves if they don’t fulfill a promise that they’ve made.  They have excuses now.  Someone to blame.  It wasn’t their fault.  It is someone elses.   If a person fails at a test or a task we just change the test or the task so that they can get it right.  We grade on the curve.  We dumb down explanations.  Because no one has had to crawl anymore before they walked.  Hell, most want to fly before they walk.  Teachers aren’t even using red pens anymore because they are too harsh.  Let’s use blue ink.  It’s friendlier.  They don’t let kids keep score anymore.  Everyone is a winner.  No one comes in last.  Well, guess what?  The kids are keeping score anyway.  They know if they are winners or losers.  And that crap that everyone gets a trophy?  Bullshit.  I sure didn’t.  If my grades stunk,  I got yelled at and grounded at home.  I didn’t blame the teachers.  I didn’t get to make any excuses.  And I was ashamed of myself.  If I wasn’t when I got home, I damn sure was when Mom and Dad got done with me.

     So where is the shame anymore?  Why is there a barely whispered “sorry” when someone screws you over?  It seems now that instead of making things up to someone who you’ve broken a promise to, or done wrong,  they get away from you and out of your sight as fast as they can.  Get any reminder of what they’ve done away from themselves.  And if you get hurt by someone the first thing that some will ask you, “Did you have a contract?  Did you get it in writing?”  WTF is that?  Are we so busy now covering our asses that we forget that our word is supposed to mean something?

     Trust. Bond. Honor. Character.  They are all disappearing.  And that’s the real Shame.

peace,

Cinnamon

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2 Responses to "~~~Shame~~~"

Things like honor, trust, etc., still exist in the world, Cinnamon; as long as one person has these things – and passes it on – it’ll never go away. It’s just simply easier to blame someone else than to accept the blame; no blame, no shame because they did it, they made me do it, it’s not my fault.

People our age, however, know different; we know that honor is everything and that if I did it, it’s my fault and, yeah, you played a role in it, too. We know there is no shame in being honest to ourselves or others and we of this generation – and if your parent were like mine, were taught that you’d better not point the finger unless you point at yourself first.

Pork feet? What country are they from? The country I know – and I’m a city boy – calls ’em pig feet, sweetie…

And, along the same line, what you see – that lack of trust and honor – is just poor home-training; people without these values passing along the same valueless ideals because handling things the right way is more trouble than it’s worth…

Yeah you’re right…it is pigs feet. I was thinking pork snouts. Both, my Mom ate. I’d never touch the stuff….guess I am a country snob in some ways… Thanks for your comment.

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Goofy Me

I am: an Air Force vet, Mom, sister, friend, Lifestyler, and all-around smartass with a heart of gold. I have lived all over the far East and learned many things about people and cooking, art and true value. I like to share my experience with the rest of the world. I will be the most loyal friend or most annoying enemy you've ever known. Honest to a fault. My life has not always been easy, but it has never ever been boring.

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