Cinfulcinnamon's Blog

~~What Will You Leave Behind?~~

Posted on: July 28, 2010

     When we are young and immortal (or so we think) there isn’t much thought given to the things that we will leave behind.  And this includes material things as well as the memories that others may have about us.  The smallest thing that we do could be the one thing that a person may remember us for. 

     At my Dad’s funeral I was the one to speak about him when the preacher was done.  It amazed me that a man who didn’t know my Father at all could stand in front of people who were mourning the passing of a friend or relative and talk about him as though they knew him.  I was prepared to hear some “canned” eulogy from a stranger.  One of those “fill in the blank” kind of things that said nothing of the character or essence of the departed.  I’m happy to say that wasn’t the case.  This man had actually talked to people who knew my Dad.  And although he had never met him, he had a really good feel for the kind of man that my Dad was.  When I was standing in front of the gathered friends and family I was quite at ease talking about Dad.  But then, I asked for anyone that wanted to come up and tell us all one or two things about Dad that they remembered.  Some of the things were hilarious, others were thought-provoking.  But what I remember most were the little things that people remembered about my Father. And when they talked about them we could see the many ways that Dad had touched others lives.

     Many of the blogs that I write here are inspired by happenings on the website for swingers that I am on.  Lately, there has been some strife, even in my small group.  It’s human nature for individuals, especially the individuals that I like to surround myself with; ones with strong personalities and opinions to butt heads now and again.  The beauty of my group is that we are all able to do it respectfully.  Well, mostly.  That’s not always the case on the main message board of the website.  And sometimes with the restrictions that are now in place there, before anyone says what is on their mind they wonder if they will be removed from the site because of it. Silly to think that people can’t just agree to disagree….but it happens.  And sometimes, some of us will send private messages that in a nutshell say, “In case you don’t see me again, I wanted you to know ________”.  That got me to this subject today.  I wonder about the things that people will say about me when I’m gone.  Am I the kind of person that I think I am?

     The  scarier question however, is:  Am I the kind of person that others think I am?  Oh crap….and do I care?  LOL  We are all a saint or a sinner to different people.  If  there are those that you have had to be unkind to, or chose to be unkind to, they will have a certain opinion of the type of person that you are or were.  Same goes of the ones you’ve been kind to.  But then again, if you think you are being kind it depends on the receivers perception doesn’t it? Wow, this could get really deep, thought-provoking, and headache producing.

     I am fairly sure that at my age, there isn’t a lot that I can do to right any of the wrongs from my past.  My PERCEIVED wrongs.  Again, those would come from what others thought of me, not what I think of me.  I have tried to mend fences in my life.  Right the wrongs that I feel I’ve done others.  And that is all that we can do.  I could just lump it under the Golden Rule.  But that’s the easy thing to do.  Most of the time the Golden Rule gets changed from “Do unto others, as you would have done unto you” to something more along the lines of: “Do unto others….then split”  Whatever you can get a way with. Hit and Run.   Jab and slide.  That bottom lines the whole internet.  Be that anonymous face behind the keyboard.  Be the AOL supermodel, or genius that you think you are.  No one will really know.  Put up pictures of someone who isn’t even you.  And take no responsibility for the things that you say. People are so devoid of any kind of conscience these days.  They think that just saying/typing a thing…makes it so.  But, I digress. 

     I was going to write about the kind of person that I hope others will remember me as.  But that is really impossible.  What others remember us for is what THEY remember us for.  Howard Hughes left a pile of money to someone who had done him a small kindness (unless that’s an urban legend).  The millionairess that left all her money to her cats!  Explain that one.  There were probably countless people in those two examples’ lives that bent over backward for just some kind of recognition and got squat.  And then there were others that probably sat at home at night trying to find ways to cheat them out of their money and they got squat.  What matters is what Howard or the rich babe thought of them.  Or for that matter, what they didn’t think of them.  All you can really do is live your life.  The best way that you can.  Try not to step on too many toes.  Love the best that you can, be as kind as you can, but kick the asses that need it when you can.  The Wizard of Oz really did have it right when he said, ” A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others”.

So, what would YOU like on your tombstone?





3 Responses to "~~What Will You Leave Behind?~~"

This blog gives food for thought…

I have to agree. It’s a shame that some people can’t just agree to disagree and leave it at that.

And the ones that make it the worst…..are the tale carriers and pot stirrers. Even without all the facts, they feel the need to continue in their blind adoration for some kind of pedestal character with feet of clay. The world would be a much better place if people did what they said they would do, live up to the obligations that they make, and don’t make excuses for bad behavior. Think of how simple the world could be with a little honesty in it. Thank you for the comment.

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Goofy Me

I am: an Air Force vet, Mom, sister, friend, Lifestyler, and all-around smartass with a heart of gold. I have lived all over the far East and learned many things about people and cooking, art and true value. I like to share my experience with the rest of the world. I will be the most loyal friend or most annoying enemy you've ever known. Honest to a fault. My life has not always been easy, but it has never ever been boring.

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