Cinfulcinnamon's Blog

~~Payback for Tolerance?~~

Posted on: August 25, 2010

     Dare I say it?  I’m a hard ass.  I expect a lot from people.  I get my feelings hurt when others don’t see my point of view on things.  Even though I know that my intentions are good, it still amazes me that people find new and different ways to disappoint me everyday.  I spend entirely too much time trying to see other’s frame of reference.  And this has to stop.  It is the same trait, that has gotten our country in so much trouble.  Being tolerant of others.  Being open to opinions of others that do not represent our own values.  Isn’t it strange; that the very thing that makes us good Americans can lead us to be a “bad” parent?  No matter how hard we try to be good to someone; whether our own children or family members, or another country, we get our feelings hurt when they take our kindness for weakness.

     I had wanted to stay away from political posts of any kind.  Sometimes I feel a message can be lost if it is cloaked in a political view.  Mainly because the reader will totally miss the point of the blog if they don’t share the same political views.  It has happened to me on more occasions than I care to comment on.  People who respect my opinion on a “lifestyle” issue will suddenly say that they “don’t know who I am” because of something that I have posted on a political forum somewhere.  It doesn’t change who I am.  Or how I see things in regards to lifestyle matters.  But because my view on our country may be more conservative than theirs….my value in giving advice may be lessened.  Some, this may bother.  But not me.  I’m not here to win the hearts and minds of anyone.  Only to humbly try to offer advice and experience based on my life and what I have lived through.  In point:  As horrible as 9/11 was, and the aftermath of that day until now has been; did we learn from it?  Was our tolerance and open door policy toward our country’s safety tested to the fullest extent of the word?  Will we ever let things like that happen again?  I wonder.  There have still been terrorist activities in our country.  NYC bomber, Ft. Hood, the underwear bomber to name a few.  We have thwarted some of those attempts, but been very hurt by some as well.  Now the question of the Ground Zero Mosque is in the news.  Some say not to worry…they will never get the funding for it.  And those people bury their heads in the sand.  If we are to be tolerant of other’s religion (even though you would NEVER see a Christian church in Mecca) must they not also be tolerant of the pain that building this mosque in that location would bring?  I don’t buy the argument that there isn’t space anywhere else.  Just like I don’t buy the argument that we can’t keep the borders safe.  Make no mistake about either of these issues; the mosque and the borders, we are being tested.  Our country was founded on the fundamental rights of others to come from somewhere else and make this their home.  If they follow the rules, and don’t try to destroy our way of life.  Those are not horrible rules to follow to live in this great country.  But they are rules that must be adhered to.  And punishment for not obeying needs to be swift and sure.

     I equate the failure of our country’s vigilance and over abundance of tolerance to the mistakes that I and other parents have made with our children.  I was raised on a dairy farm.  If you’ve followed any of my blogs, you already know that I was raised with many rules and restrictions.  And I’m a better person for it.  But there were many things that I didn’t get to do as a kid that I vowed I would make sure my son got to do.  And because of it, I wasn’t as strict as my parents.  I gave in easier to the things that my son wanted in life.  And although I can brag honestly that he is a wonderful person and good-hearted through and through…..I can also tell you that his work ethic stinks and he’s a lazy teenager.  I am hoping like hell that he gets over that when he goes out into the world.  But it’s not going to be easy for him.  He will have to play catch up with other people his age who have already fought and scrapped for a job and their place in the world.  I did not spoil my son.  No designer clothes or fancy gadgets.  But he did have some things that I never even dreamed of when I was growing up.  And he has never had to “work” on the farm like my brother, sisters and I had to.  But like I said, he is a good person.  He’s funny, imaginative and sincere.  But those things could make him easy prey for disappointment and heartache.  I hope not.  I also hope that my tolerance of his lazy ways and lackadaisical attitude don’t cause others to see him as an easy mark.  The balance that we try for, sometimes ends up a trade-off.  I just don’t want my son to be a victim of and a payback for, my tolerance.

God Bless America

I love you Jesse



6 Responses to "~~Payback for Tolerance?~~"


And I’m thinking your kid will come around. Your story sounds a lot like mine. My dad was a pastor, and my parents were HARD on me. I was much easier on my kids, and they went through some tough times. But they’re in college now and have some impressive GPAs. So hang in there. He’s got a great example in you, and I’m sure he knows it.

Bless you Grace. And when I grow up….I wanna be just like YOU !!! Thanks a million.

I totally hear what you’re saying about raising your kids… my parents were like that. The unstated mantra was “my house, my rules.” So I got out. I left. My father outright came to my house and started trying to boss me from there. I told him in so many words “my house, my rules.” My mother did everything in her power to manipulate me back “home” whenever she could. Eventually it worked because I’m back now, not of my own doing, but because of combined manipulative forces from family, friends, and doctors. I was ready to stay in a shelter before going back. But now I’m back. My mother doesn’t understand why we don’t have a “good relationship.” I think she honestly doesn’t understand.

Oh, and I’m interested to hear what you think of this post:

I will most definitely check it out and comment. Thank you for your comment.

Sweetie, I thought we “agreed” that you don’t have any business messing around in or with political things and that staying away from them was best for your peace of mind? Okay, there’s a lot of crap going on as you mentioned… but what does any of it have to do with you directly? Does the mosque thing have a direct impact on your life or the lives of your loved ones? As a country, we are tolerant when we shouldn’t be… but as individuals and citizens of this country, we don’t have to buy into that crap and we don’t even have to raise our voice in protest over such a stupid thing to do.

Tolerance, in and of itself, isn’t about how you were raised or even where; this is about politics and we both know how screwed up it is. The only thing we can do as far as our children or even grandchildren is concerned is to make sure that they learn not to let themselves get carried away by political dumb shit that goes against their core values, the values we’ve instilled in them. It disturbs me to see you stressing over something that (1) doesn’t really have anything to do with you and (2) you can’t do a damn thing about even if it did. I want the sweet Cinnamon back, not the stressed-out, worried about politics one.

Purely an opinion. I’m not stressed about it I promise. But I do worry for our country. We’re all going to wake up one day and wonder what happened if we aren’t careful. And just because I don’t live in NYC doesn’t mean that it doesn’t affect me. I was there 6 days after the towers came down (when they were still looking for survivors) and I’ll never ever forget how sad and helpless that made me feel.

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Goofy Me

I am: an Air Force vet, Mom, sister, friend, Lifestyler, and all-around smartass with a heart of gold. I have lived all over the far East and learned many things about people and cooking, art and true value. I like to share my experience with the rest of the world. I will be the most loyal friend or most annoying enemy you've ever known. Honest to a fault. My life has not always been easy, but it has never ever been boring.

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