~~~Truth-n-Such~~~

Posted by: cinfulcinnamon on: September 5, 2010

• In: About Me Stuff....Past and Present | The Soapbox
• 9 Comments

     I was going to write today on the value of truth and the struggle to maintain it.  So many times in life we cringe when we are asked something that we aren’t comfortable answering.   And it can feel so much easier to tell that little white lie, or in some cases the great big fat lie.  It’s all about avoiding the confrontation, or the consequences of our answer.  If we tell the truth, we may have to answer for our actions.  If we tell the truth, someone else’s feelings may get hurt, or they may think less of us.  Sometimes, it’s just easier to lie and move on.   Get past the look, move away from the punishment.  But the moment that we speak the lie; it’s as though a thread flies out of our body, pinning us to the spot where we told the lie.  We can stretch away from it…it’s very flexible at first.  But each time that we must re-tell the lie, the thread gets thicker and less flexible.  Before long it becomes an anchor tying us down in place.  It’s hard to escape the lie.  If you tell one lie, you must continue to tell it, or tell other lies to cover it up.  I frankly am not very good at lying.  And that surprises me because I have a very good imagination.  Maybe my  mind is so full of things that I think about that there isn’t any room for lies that I must maintain.  It’s like a garden.  Thoughts come and go.  The ones that I want to mature and grow, I must take care of.  And lies require too much effort.

     I always told my son that he was going to do things, and get in trouble for doing them, but that he’d get in more trouble if he lied about it.  Most of the time he remembered that, but being a kid it was his duty to try to get away with lying about this or that.  I’ve done it too.  We have all called into work and said we were sick just because we didn’t feel like going in.  And aren’t those the absolute best days off?  I’ve gotten more done when I should have been at work, and it felt so good.  I don’t know if I was subconsciously trying to make up for the lie by getting a lot done around the house or what it was, but man it felt good.  Watching the door, and listening for the phone, checking caller ID in case someone from work calls to check on me.  But then, that next day is tricky.  You have to go back to work and act “sick”, or sort of sick.  Even a 24 hour bug leaves you weak and not quite up to par the next day.  Can’t act like your normal self or they will know it was a lie.  That’s the best example of maintaining the lie that I can think of.  By the end of that day I am worn out.

     Is it easy to tell the truth?  Oh hell no.  My honesty has gotten me in so much trouble sometimes I want to slap myself.  Being politically correct, or saying what people want to hear instead of what I really feel leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, and I don’t like that.  There have been times when saying what I truly thought has probably cost me promotions or even friendships.  But for the people who I am close to there are no doubts in their minds.  They know that if they ask me something they must first be prepared to hear my answer.  I do try to be kind, but it will be what I really think…..and that may be tough.  Don’t ask….and I won’t tell.  For me, honesty is the only policy.

peace,

Cinnamon

Tags: lies, telling the truth