Cinfulcinnamon's Blog

~~~When People are Afraid~~~

Posted on: November 12, 2010

FEAR–noun 1. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

     We have all been afraid at many times in our lives.  The degree of the fear, or the rationality of the fear varies; depending on the situation.  Some fear is authentic and it’s there to stimulate us to take some kind of action in order to save ourselves or our loved ones.  Some fear is only perceived; put there by our mind.  But it will also serve to stimulate us into some kind of action.  I won’t talk about real fear…..there would be no point in that.  We all know what to do if someone threatens us, or if we see an unfriendly dog approaching.  Or we know that we are going to get some bad news that there isn’t anything that we can do anything about.  These kind of situations will in themselves cause an instinctive “fight or flight” response from us…and Nature will take its course.  Here’s hoping you always have a pleasant outcome  of events. 

     What I’d like to talk about today are the things that people “perceive” as the threat, or the pain, or the evil that is headed their way.  And some of the things that they will do avoid dealing with their fear.  I am guilty of most of these things myself in all the years I’ve been on this planet, so I speak of which I know.

Fear of Committment:  Not just of relationships, but even the simple things as in: saying you are willing to contribute some time or effort to a charity event or something to do with your kid’s school.

We will slyly look away from the person asking for our help (quickly pulling something out of our “excuse bag” saying we have other commitments, or family obligation.  Work has been overwhelming lately and we just don’t have the time. Whatever it takes to get out of donating the time or effort.  This response is usually followed up by whipping out the checkbook or purse and asking how much they can contribute monetarily.

Fear of picking up the Phone:  Oh my God how hard this one is.  So, some time has passed and you haven’t spoken to someone in so long, and you are afraid you will have to spend hours catching up with someone.

So, we put it off, and put it off until we hope that we will just forget.  That rarely happens.  Especially if the person has meant something to us.  And maybe they call, you see it’s them on the caller ID and you avoid it.  Maybe you are busy at the moment and promise yourself that you will call back later.  But you don’t.  And you feel guilty.  Eventually both parties will forget, but isn’t it a shame that just a few minutes here and there could keep you in touch?

Fear of not being part of the “cool kids”:  I have seen this one happen more times than I care to remember.  This is one of the few that I can honestly say I haven’t been guilty of.  But some will go along with things that they know are not true, spread gossip that is not based on anything other than someone else’s jealousy just to stay in good with people that they think can help them somehow.

These folks will go along with the jokes, or the half-truths and act like stooges rather than stand up to the bully or the liar.  I can’t imagine what that feels like inside when your integrity gets eroded away a little at a time, just so you can be considered part of a crowd.  How very sad that there is so little backbone to go around.

     When people are afraid, they do really stupid things.  They make up stories, compounding lies, all in a desperate effort to avoid the truth.  Most fear is a feeling based on something that we only “think” will happen.  Our reations are the mechanism that we train ourself to deal with fear.  So, if someone’s reaction to their fear or jealousy is to  lie or avoid the truth that become part of their character. 

The first lie is hard, but as your character erodes, it becomes easier.  The hard part is keeping up with the lies. 

The first truth is also hard, especially if there are consequences for standing up and telling that truth.  But as your character becomes stronger, telling the truth becomes easier.

Don’t be afraid.  Don’t let fear make you do the wrong thing. Remember, “Fear is temporary, Regret is forever”.

peace,

Cinnamon

Advertisements

2 Responses to "~~~When People are Afraid~~~"

I’ve suffered from anxiety for years and fearing what “could” happen rather than what will or has happened is my biggest problem. My mind always tends to find the worst case scenario and cling to it. And then when things turn out fine, I’m almost always surprised.

I used to tell a friend of mine that was an optimist; who said I was a pessimist, that he was right. The only difference between he and I was that when things went wrong….at least I saw it coming… !!! Thanks for the comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Goofy Me

I am: an Air Force vet, Mom, sister, friend, Lifestyler, and all-around smartass with a heart of gold. I have lived all over the far East and learned many things about people and cooking, art and true value. I like to share my experience with the rest of the world. I will be the most loyal friend or most annoying enemy you've ever known. Honest to a fault. My life has not always been easy, but it has never ever been boring.

Blog Stats

  • 6,281 hits
Find Me On BlogFrog!

Grab My Button

Create your own banner at mybannermaker.com!
Copy this code to your website to display this banner!
Create your own banner at mybannermaker.com!
Make your own banner at MyBannerMaker.com!

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 116 other followers

~~ What I’m Tweeting Right Now ~~

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

Share This Blog

Bookmark and Share

Follow me on Twitter

Follow CinfulCinnamon on Twitter
%d bloggers like this: