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     Borrowing from the movie “Mask” and the poetry of Rocky Dennis, I decided that today would just be a list of things that make me feel good. Maybe another day for the “these things are a drag”.  But not today.

Getting an “I luv u mom” text from my beautiful teenage son.

Making a nice meal even though I shopped from the “Manager’s Special” bin.  I love to save a buck !!

Riding behind my boyfriend, or riding my own bike in a charitable event for a fellow biker.

Watching my  puppy play with an empty water bottle.

Getting obscene text messages and pictures from my sister when I’m in a meeting.

Being able to drop a few coins in the Salvation Army kettle.

Seeing a clean kitchen or empty laundry hamper. Even though it’s only for a few minutes.

Finding a five dollar bill in a pair of jeans I’d put away.

Knowing that if you are reading this, you are thinking of things that make you smile.





     I am supposed to be doing a writing assignment for the Red Headed Riter on Thursday.  But her Father just passed away, and I’m sad for her in that regard, and the writing assignment had to do with my ideal bedroom and how it would look; and that just doesn’t interest me today.  So, I thought I’d take a “saying” or popular cliché’ and talk about it.  Today’s is:

“Never make someone a priority in your life, when you are nothing but an option in theirs.”

     We’ve all seen this one and it’s rung true for us all from time to time.  I tried to do a little research on the origin of the phrase and found out that most think it was written by a woman about a man, when really it was the other way around.  Or so my research told me.  Man or woman, it’s still a very powerful thought.  How many times in our lives have we devoted time, energy, money, emotions and maybe our own personal well-being into trying to make someone love us?  Or care about us?  Or even just notice us?  How many dumb things have you done in school to make the pretty girl, or popular boy want to ask you out?  When dressing in the morning; did you do something special just because you knew that person’s favorite color, or style?  If if “baby shit yellow” made you look like a walking corpse, if you knew that so in so liked it….you wore it proudly.

     How many nights did you sit by the phone waiting for it to ring?  At least today, you can at least leave the house and take your cell phone with you.  Today’s generation has no idea how much of our lives were given up sitting by the old land line.  I can remember a terrible crush I had on a guy in high school.  He didn’t know I was alive.  But I would go home from school, and clean up and try to look nice.  Then I would walk about 2 miles and sit behind some bushes on the side of a street that I knew he had to pass on his way home in the afternoon.  When I would hear his motorcycle coming down the street I would just “accidentally” be walking on the side of that street so I could wave to him.  He was the best friend of a guy that I knew so sometimes he would actually stop and talk for a couple of minutes.  That would make my week.  Finally, after this going on for a while he asked me why I was in that part of the neighborhood; especially since he knew where I lived.  I blurted the truth out.  I said that I was always there, just hoping to get a glimpse of him as he rode by.  He looked at me funny and then left.  I suppose he found another way home, cause I didn’t see him anymore after that.

     Later in life after a big breakup with a guy that I was with for 4 years, I fell head over heels for a guy.  This has only been a couple of years or so ago.  I was crazy about him.  He wasn’t working.  Was living at home taking care of his Mom.  I’d come up with all kinds of things for us to do just so I could be with him.  For him, it was just a bootycall thing.  But not to me.  I did everything I could think of in hopes that he’d feel the same way about me that I did him.  I can still remember the day that he told me that he’d met someone who he wanted to see if it would work out for them.  I played the good friend.  I was supportive and wished him the best.  The whole time he was talking,  all I could hear was the pounding of blood in my ears as my heart broke.  Right then and there I swore that I would never be at the mercy of someone again.  And guess what?  I’ve still managed to do it.  In different ways for different reasons.  Friends have left me hanging, not bothering to keep up with the responsibilities that come with any kind of relationship.  Employers have done it.  Taking kindness for weakness and putting me on the backburner.  But, as in all things….a lesson was learned.  I’m getting pretty good with heart bond-o.  I just patch the hurt up and go for it again.  I never want to become callous and un-feeling.  I try very hard not to be the one that “forgets” the other person and their feelings.  I’m not perfect, but I do try.  A very wise friend that writes her own blog says it best:

               Victim is NOT a good Look  !!!      Right on Grace.



Websters defines “Dog Days” as:
1) Period between early July and early September when the hot sultry weather of the season usually occurs.
2) A period of stagnation.

The name came from the Sirius Major (or Big Dog Star). This time of the year brings it into view the sharpest, hence the name..Dog Days.

We can call it what we like, but it’s just plain hot down here in central Florida. But I like it. I’ve always enjoyed beaches, laying in the sun, and cool water. That brings me to todays quotes that have to do with dogs. I don’t know the origins of either of these quotes, but they both make me smile. The first:

“Dogs never bite me, only humans do”

This happens on a continuous basis. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a dozen times. People will find new and different ways to disappoint me every day in many ways. I really have never been bitten by a dog. Sure, some have shown their teeth in a threatening manner, but I’ve never been charged by a dog or hurt in any way done on purpose. The same can not be said of the many humans I have come in contact with, and I’m sure you can relate. People seem to want to go out of their way to cause others grief. It could be that they are so unhappy in their own lives that they feel the need to “spread the pain”. Or sometimes; when wrapped up in their own misery, they fail to see that it’s getting transferred to others. Kind of like “pain through osmosis”. Then again, some people are just rotten. They delight in causing as much drama and chaos as they can. What they gain from it is an unknown….something that I will leave to the mental health professionals. All I know is that I’ve become pretty good at spotting these kind of people. Do I always avoid them? I wish I could say that I do. Sometimes I have no choice but to interact with them (co-workers, bosses, relatives). And truthfully, sometimes I engage them trying to get them to see what they are doing. Unfortunately, these types generally don’t care about doing anything but having their way, and having their say. Best to just walk away then. They say you can’t fix stupid…and that’s true. But you can’t fix narcissistic either. In fact, I’d bet that would be the harder to fix anyway.

The second quote always makes me laugh:

“If you aren’t the lead dog….the view never changes”

I have actually run into people who don’t get this. In truth, unless you have ever taken any kind of leadership role in your life, you probably wouldn’t understand it. And that’s ok too. Some people are born to be leaders and some are born to be followers. And both have their purpose in the scheme of things. I’ve been thrust into leadership roles in my life, and I have enjoyed it. At other times, I’ve been a follower. The role I personally enjoy the most is one that I feel I’m the best at. I call it “the power behind the throne” role. This role gives me the most satisfaction. I’ve been able to use my experience and knowledge to help guide others. I get the personal satisfaction from seeing my ideas come to fruition and don’t have to be in the spotlight. Some are born for that role too. There are people who do the best in front of the crowd but would be helpless without someone behind the scenes giving them advice and encouragement. They would flounder and fail on their own. All they have going for them is the pretty face, or the money or the idea. But no idea how to make a plan, or stick to it to achieve the success.

I have owned two businesses and managed many others. But I have never forgotten that without the right kind of support staff, there isn’t anything that can hope to work out well. And you must take care of that support. And by that I mean give them the respect, the praise and the salary that they deserve. Most of the time people will do extraordinary things and put force tremendous effort if they know they are appreciated. But you can’t just say thank you. You must realize that families can’t eat “thank yous”. Good intentions only go so far. Some people never ever learn this. And they eventually are brought down by their sheer stupidity in not understanding human nature.

That’s why it’s good to be the lead dog. But it’s not so bad being the dog next in line either.



     Today’s two quotes come from movies that I have seen.  The first, is from everyone’s favorite feisty fairy, Tinkerbell.  In the movie “Hook” she was played by Julia Roberts and I thought this was one of the sweetest quotes of unrequited love that I’ve heard.  She said,

“Do you know that place between being asleep and awake, where you still remember your dreams? That’s where I’ll always love, that’s where I’ll always wait for you.”

     I don’t know about you, but I know I’ve felt that way.  When the object of my affection didn’t even know I existed.  A couple of years ago I was in a relationship like that.  I positively adored a man, and would have done anything for him…and did.  And all I was to him was  a bootycall.  No matter how I pursued him, or was cool and uncaring around him, it didn’t matter.  I was always the one to call him first.  Always the one that would plan things for us to do.  Anything I could think of just to get to see him and be with him.  That was a hard one to get over.  I can still look at his picture and get weak in the knees.  And no matter how much I love my husband, that other man will always have a place in my heart.  Might be that I never captured his heart and my ego doesn’t like that fact.  If there had actually been some kind of a substantive relationship with him and then we had broken up; I think it would have been different.  Because I would at least feel like he had invested some feelings into the thing and maybe he would have hurt a little too.  As it was, I was the only one with the broken heart when I heard that he’d found someone he wanted to date and get serious with.  As it was…..I was the only one living in never never land…Thanks Tinkerbell

The next quote came from the movie “Harry Potter”.  The wise old Dumbledore said,

“It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends”

And oh my my is that ever true.  It’s bad enough that we spend so much time trying to fit in with people, making them friends and making them a part of our lives.  Now, in order to be a true friend, sometimes it’s absolutely necessary to tell them something that you know they are not going to want to hear.  Comes back to that whole honesty thing.  And true friends may still get their feelings hurt if they don’t get the answer from you that they want, but that is too bad.  You are their friend because they expect nothing less from you but the truth.  And if it so happens that they can’t handle that truth, then they aren’t a true friend anyway.  I have recently had to cut someone loose from my circle of friends for this very reason.  All this person lived for was drama.  If you told this woman  you had a goldfish at home in a bowl, why she had a barracuda in her bathtub.  She never wanted to be outdone.  No story was big enough.  There was no such thing as a normal day for her.  There always had to be an email or a text or worse yet, the phone call telling me about how much chaos there was in her life.  It just got old.  My life is complicated enough.  But if I have to spend valuable time propping this person up all the time, and stroking her ego and listening to the lies she told, it was just too much.  No one needs friends like that and so I had to stop all communications with her.  And other friends have had to do the same to her as well.  It’s sad really because she has a lot to offer when she isn’t telling story after story that is more outlandish than the last one.  I wish her peace in her life IF that is possible.  But Dumbledore was right.  It is truly difficult to stand up to your friends…..but it must be done sometimes.



     Today’s quotes are simple and yet profound in their own right.  Two are from one of my favorite comediennes…Lucille Ball.  And the other is an anonymous one that who knows where they come from?  They just ring true.

     Miss Ball said,

I would rather regret the things I’ve done, than the things I have not.”

     This quote really grabs me.  Makes me remember the “bucket list” that I made for myself long ago.  When the time comes for me to retire to the rocking chair, I don’t want to have regrets.  There are still many things in my life that I haven’t done or accomplished.  But I never want any of those things to be left un-done simply because I refused to try them.  There are, of course, things that were originally on the bucket list that have moved down on the priority list and some that have been removed.  After working as a mechanic in the Air Force for 12 years, I no longer want to sky dive.  I have no desire to jump out of a perfectly good airplane anymore.  However, since I still long for the freedom that flying gives I will strive to finish my private pilots license certification.  And parasailing is still on the list. 

     I can honestly say that there are not many things in my life that I regret doing.  Maybe there have been times that I shouldn’t have invested too much time or energy caring about a person or two in my life.  And some that should have gotten more attention.  While I am able, I will rectify that if I can.  But the truth is:  the good and bad experiences in my life have made me the person that I am.  And I am fairly happy with that person.  This brings me to Miss Ball’s second quote:

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced”

     Those words; if you believe them, can help you make monumental changes in your life.  But you must truly believe those words.  Not put them on a page, or a banner, or use them as a signature to an email, or even an imaginary list that you make for all the world to see.  You must feel them in your heart.  To say that you see something wrong in your life, admit that it is a problem and then to ask for forgiveness is all wonderful.  But if in asking for the forgiveness, you turn around and blame others for your mistakes or your short-comings….well, that defeats the purpose of the whole thing.  It’s very much like the people who say or write: “I’ve never done this before, or I’d never say/write this about another person ever again…” and then they go on to do the very thing they say they’ve never done before.  Or asking if someone they have wronged could please find it in their heart to be forgiven.  Did you catch that?  I said “to be forgiven”.  Again, shifting the blame onto the person you are asking forgiveness from. That is not true repentance.  Taking all the blame, and all the consequences upon yourself is the only true way to get the forgiveness you seek.  Forgiving yourself does nothing.  Except make it easier to forgive yourself the next time, of the next sin.  If you wrong someone publicly, you must ask for forgiveness that way. If being a “recovering Catholic” has taught me anything, it is this:  You must seek forgiveness from those you have done wrong to.  Not from within.  It’s tooooooooo easy to lie to yourself.  Take the lumps.  It’s not true what they say about admitting you have a problem being the hard part.  An alcoholic admits they have a problem everyday.  But until they go to the first meeting, or turn down the first drink…they still have the problem.  The hardest part is taking the first step toward forgiveness.  You should forgive yourself LAST…..not first.  Then, and only then can you accomplish what you say your goal is.

“Being number one just means…..there’s a number two.”

     Wow !  Did you ever think about that?  If someone says that you are number one to them…that implies that there is a line, or a list, or worse yet….a waiting list.  This quote was just to think about.  My response to it is very simple.  And my end to this blog with my own quote.

“You should not be a number anything….You should be an Only”



     Today’s quote is  from an “anonymous” author.  It’s a quote that you’ve seen around, maybe smiled at, and then forgot.  Until you see it again. This  one is not only a good quote,  also good words to live by:

Don’t Make Decisions When You’re Angry, and Don’t Make Promises When You’re Happy”

     Oh, the number of times I have gotten angry about something and vowed that I would either NEVER do that again, or get even with someone.  The amount of time that we sometimes spend on revenge can be staggering.  That’s probably why someone else came up with the saying, “never say never”.  That way, there aren’t so many words that we have to eat in our lifetime.  Righteous feelings of betrayal are one thing.  And a way to learn from the mistakes that we make when trusting less than honorable individuals in this life.  Sometimes however, you must cut your losses and move toward more constructive projects.  The time that we spend “hatin” on someone is time and calories that could be spent on more productive ventures.  I do believe in the Karma bus.  I’d like to come back to this life as the Karma bus driver. 

     This part of the quote reminds me of the Showtime series called “Dexter”.  I didn’t get to watch it when it first came out, so I am now watching the dvds that we get through Netflix.  Dexter is a forensics specialist with the Miami Police Dept.  His specialty is blood evidence.  By day, he solves crimes, and by night he’s a serial killer that preys on the evil people in the world.  Once he proves they are guilty, he dispassionately metes out justice.  It’s not pretty, but it is thrilling.  There have been times in my life that I wished I’d had good ol Dexter on speed dial.  The sad thing is that the tradeoff for being able to dispatch criminals the way that he does; is that he feels nothing.  And all he really wants in life is to be “normal”.  I guess I’ll just take my lumps with the lessons that I have to learn in order to always feel passionate about my life and my experiences.

     The second part of the quote, “and Don’t Make Promises When You’re Happy” can be equally destructive.  We ALL get jazzed up about something that has made us happy, or caught up in a new thrill.  It’s all we can think about, and all we want to do.  While caught up in this new thing that gets us “high” we can pledge to do things that may really be out of our reach to follow through on.  Say, you have a great time volunteering some time at a planned event.  It’s so successful that you tell everyone that you’re going to do it again, and again.  And it will be bigger and better than this one was…yada yada.  You are so swept up in the emotions that went into the event, or all the praise that you got for helping with the event that your mouth kind of overloads your good sense.  Later, after all the lights are out and things are put away, and you have a chance to think about all the things that you’ve said……oh boy, you could be in deep doo doo.  How are you ever going to keep up with the promises that you made?  Can you afford to? ,Money wise and time wise?  Sometimes I think that good intentions can get us into as much trouble as shying away from any kind of involvement.  As we all know; where people are concerned, something is bound to go wrong.  What you say, and what you mean can mean different things to different people.  And when dealing with people who only hear what they “want” to hear it can be quite the battle.  The only advice I could give here is to stay grounded.  Look before you leap, and listen before you speak.  Set your goals and make sure that you can follow through on your promises.  The promises that you make are the very things that people use to judge you.  If you say you will do the smallest thing….do it.  Whatever it takes.  Do not plant the seed of doubt in someone’s mind that you will not follow through.  Your word must be your bond.  Start out small and work up to the big promises.  And by the time you are up to the big ones, there is no room for doubt.  It’s a wonderful feeling to be known for “saying what you can do, and doing what you say”.  Just temper your enthusiasm in all things, be they good or bad. 



Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot

 who calls you back when you hang up on him

 who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat

 or will stay awake just to watch you sleep…

 who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats

 who holds your hand in front of his friends

 who thinks you’ re just as pretty without makeup on

one who puts up with PMS and all the other female nonsense 

One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU…

 The one who turns to his friends and says, “thats her”….

I have one of these guys…..and I am blessed.  I love you honey !!!

Goofy Me

I am: an Air Force vet, Mom, sister, friend, Lifestyler, and all-around smartass with a heart of gold. I have lived all over the far East and learned many things about people and cooking, art and true value. I like to share my experience with the rest of the world. I will be the most loyal friend or most annoying enemy you've ever known. Honest to a fault. My life has not always been easy, but it has never ever been boring.

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