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Archive for the ‘The Soapbox’ Category

   

  I’ve been on somewhat of  a tear this week after finding out that there was to be a re-make of “The Wizard of Oz”.  Not the kind of remake that Michael Jackson and Diana Ross and others did with “The Wiz”.  No, this is to be a total re-make.  And it broke my heart.  There are some things that are just perfect the way that they are.  And this movie is one of those things.  Yes, of course they can add special effects, and new, more popular actors and actresses.  That is not the part that bothers me.  It’s the “essence” of the movie that I feel will be lost.  And all the feelings that I had when watching this classic that will be lost.

     My Mom told me about the first time that she saw TWOO.  She was a young girl and got to see it for the very first time on the big screen at a movie theatre.  Before then, she had never seen a colorized film.  I can still see the light in her eyes when she described the way she felt when Dorothy opens that door and the Land of Oz was in color.  Holding onto the memories of my Mom is very important to me.  She’s only been gone a little over a year and a half so I am trying to always think about the good times I shared with her.  And that doesn’t even account for all the joy the movie gave myself and my siblings each year around Easter, when it would come on t.v. and we would all sit around being amazed, and singing with the songs.  Now its shown on t.v. a million times a month and it’s lost it’s “magic”.  But this is only part of the reason that I think a re-make would ruin this movie. 

     The lessons that were taught in the movie may be duplicated in the new version; and maybe for a new generation it will be the first time that these lessons could be taught.  I hope so.  Because the things that my generation and the one before got from TWOO are too important not to learn.  I’ve read some others’ take on “finding happiness in my own back yard“.   And I agree that it’s not meant literally.  Yes, you can travel and see the world, meet all kinds of people, and get your heart broke by any number of them.  To me; my own backyard is the place within my heart.  Making myself happy.  Not counting on others to do it for me.  No looking at the material things in my life to do the trick.  I have had money in my life.  I’ve also done without much more.  I will agree that the only thing that money can’t buy is poverty !!  And it may not buy happiness, but you can sure rent it for a while !!  But when it is all said and done, we are all still left with ourselves.  And how we choose to live our lives is what matters most and will bring us the most happiness.

“Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain”   What did this lesson teach you?  Don’t let anyone else pull your strings.  Be afraid of anyone that hides their intentions behind a “fake” persona.  They are really hiding their own imperfections and insecurities in order make themselves appear “larger than life”, to gain control, or force their will on others.  In this scene, Toto represents the “unmasking” of this kind of person.  And that sometimes, it’s someone small that is the un-doing of these “fakes”.  Yes, in the end The Wizard turned out to be a really cool guy.  But he had to be forced to be himself.  Allowed to let his true generosity and warm character come through. Lesson?  Don’t be afraid to come out from behind the curtain and just be yourself.

The munchkins?  Represent the “little things” in life that help or hinder us.  Hold us back, or help us on the way.  Don’t ignore them in either instance.

Oh, how I hate that they are re-doing this movie.  It feels to me like a re-write of my childhood.  And there is nothing about that I want to change…..only live again from time to time.

Have a heart, use your brain, and face life with courage.  And never forget to be thankful for what you have.

peace,

Cinnamon

FEAR–noun 1. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

     We have all been afraid at many times in our lives.  The degree of the fear, or the rationality of the fear varies; depending on the situation.  Some fear is authentic and it’s there to stimulate us to take some kind of action in order to save ourselves or our loved ones.  Some fear is only perceived; put there by our mind.  But it will also serve to stimulate us into some kind of action.  I won’t talk about real fear…..there would be no point in that.  We all know what to do if someone threatens us, or if we see an unfriendly dog approaching.  Or we know that we are going to get some bad news that there isn’t anything that we can do anything about.  These kind of situations will in themselves cause an instinctive “fight or flight” response from us…and Nature will take its course.  Here’s hoping you always have a pleasant outcome  of events. 

     What I’d like to talk about today are the things that people “perceive” as the threat, or the pain, or the evil that is headed their way.  And some of the things that they will do avoid dealing with their fear.  I am guilty of most of these things myself in all the years I’ve been on this planet, so I speak of which I know.

Fear of Committment:  Not just of relationships, but even the simple things as in: saying you are willing to contribute some time or effort to a charity event or something to do with your kid’s school.

We will slyly look away from the person asking for our help (quickly pulling something out of our “excuse bag” saying we have other commitments, or family obligation.  Work has been overwhelming lately and we just don’t have the time. Whatever it takes to get out of donating the time or effort.  This response is usually followed up by whipping out the checkbook or purse and asking how much they can contribute monetarily.

Fear of picking up the Phone:  Oh my God how hard this one is.  So, some time has passed and you haven’t spoken to someone in so long, and you are afraid you will have to spend hours catching up with someone.

So, we put it off, and put it off until we hope that we will just forget.  That rarely happens.  Especially if the person has meant something to us.  And maybe they call, you see it’s them on the caller ID and you avoid it.  Maybe you are busy at the moment and promise yourself that you will call back later.  But you don’t.  And you feel guilty.  Eventually both parties will forget, but isn’t it a shame that just a few minutes here and there could keep you in touch?

Fear of not being part of the “cool kids”:  I have seen this one happen more times than I care to remember.  This is one of the few that I can honestly say I haven’t been guilty of.  But some will go along with things that they know are not true, spread gossip that is not based on anything other than someone else’s jealousy just to stay in good with people that they think can help them somehow.

These folks will go along with the jokes, or the half-truths and act like stooges rather than stand up to the bully or the liar.  I can’t imagine what that feels like inside when your integrity gets eroded away a little at a time, just so you can be considered part of a crowd.  How very sad that there is so little backbone to go around.

     When people are afraid, they do really stupid things.  They make up stories, compounding lies, all in a desperate effort to avoid the truth.  Most fear is a feeling based on something that we only “think” will happen.  Our reations are the mechanism that we train ourself to deal with fear.  So, if someone’s reaction to their fear or jealousy is to  lie or avoid the truth that become part of their character. 

The first lie is hard, but as your character erodes, it becomes easier.  The hard part is keeping up with the lies. 

The first truth is also hard, especially if there are consequences for standing up and telling that truth.  But as your character becomes stronger, telling the truth becomes easier.

Don’t be afraid.  Don’t let fear make you do the wrong thing. Remember, “Fear is temporary, Regret is forever”.

peace,

Cinnamon

   

  ALL of us are guilty at one time or another of “selective” hearing.  Sometimes it comes from hoping or wanting to hear someone tell you what you want to hear.  If you have been hoping for good news, or waiting to find out something bad; the way we “listen” can determine the outcome of what we hear.

     How many times have you gotten something wrong, and yet swore that you had heard it the way it was meant?  On the other hand; how many times have you explained something to someone, only to find out later that they had not understood it the way you meant?  In today’s world of instant communication, and social media we have a greater than average chance of the message being screwed up.  And sometimes, no matter what we do to try to fix it, the damage is done and lives are affected.  

     Ever told someone  you “wanted to be just friends” and they heard, “we will be friends now and more later”?  You know what you meant, but they heard what they wanted to hear.  Ever been texting someone and what you’ve said (trying to be brief) has been misinterpreted and your day has gone to hell in a handbasket because of it?  Chatting online with someone and they read the wrong thing into it?  And all at once, you find yourself staring at a closed chat window?  I can’t begin to count the number of times that has happened to me.  And it’s all because our feelings, and our body language, as well as the inflections in our voice don’t come through when we are typing or texting.  I have been told that I write the same way that I talk.  I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not, but I’d like to think that at least I make myself clear.  But even that doesn’t happen with the regularity that I would like.  Many times I’ve been sent messages from people  I was sure really knew me, and my intentions, saying that I had somehow hurt their feelings, or made them angry.  I was sure that I had taken care to say what I meant, re-read it to be sure, sent it and felt good about it, only to be told I had been mean or nasty. 

     I come from the computer age where the first computer that I had was when I was well into my 30’s.  It was a small Mac and I was using AOL 2.5 or something like that.  A LONG time ago.  Back when they had (probably still do, I don’t know) chat rooms where you met and talked with people.  It was awesome.  I met someone there that I ended up spending 4 years with.  On the other hand, the internet was also one of the causes of the breakup of that relationship.  Because I was able to connect with someone I knew from back “in the day” and we re-connected through classmates.com.  So, there is good and bad with all the social media.  But it still all comes down to the human element.  And how we view and listen to the things we are “told”.  Told meaning….written to or spoken to.

     For me, it all boils down to this:  Right and Wrong are black and white.  The grey area is where interpretation takes place.  This is where the message gets lost or screwed up.  How we justify what we hear, or what we do is based on our belief in right and wrong.  What comes from one person to another is based solely on the frame of reference and core beliefs that the speaker has.  How we hear what is said is based on our core beliefs.  If you believe the glass is half full, you will try to see the good in what is said.  If you believe the glass is half empty; you may think that everyone is out to get you, and do you harm.  And if you are like me, you will look to see if there is ice in there, because that will mean I need to take a closer look at that glass….LOL

Keep an open mind, and an open heart.  But keep your hand on the doorknob !

peace,

Cinnamon

     Today’s post was inspired by an honor that I received from the RedHeaded Riter.  She named me as one of her Rockin Friends.  Which is a very cool thing.  Her blogs and community are a fun and warm place to be and meet others that have similar interests.   You should check her out if you get the chance at: http://theredheadriter.blogspot.com/  It also got me thinking about friends.  The people that we call friends, the folks we’d like to be our friends, and the ones that we thought were our friends only to find out different.

     Looking back, if I was to really think about all the people who I’ve met in my life, very few of them would qualify as friends.  We moved a lot when I was growing up.  Never stayed anywhere longer four years.  And that was alright with me.  I have always been mostly a loner.  I enjoyed the company of my animals a whole lot more than the company of humans.  Even when we moved from the country to the city when I was sixteen, I wasn’t worried about fitting in with the brains, or jocks, or druggies.  I was just me.  I had my own set of goals.  As soon as I was old enough to get a job, and get a car, I was headed for freedom.  Along the way, I met a few people who I would call good “acquaintances” and people who I would do things with from time to time.  But I mostly kept to myself.  It was easier for me.  I have a tendency to attract others that might not be considered “mainstream”.  The odd folks, or those with an unpleasant history.  That just needed someone to bounce their story off of.  Working for years as a bartender and bar owner pretty much sealed my fate in that regard.  I became the captive audience for all kinds of hard luck stories.  And for a very long time it also put me in the position to be used.  For my time, and my energy.  I wouldn’t say that I have an addictive personality.  But I would say that I still have a streak of gullibility in me.  And in order to protect myself, I’ve had to get harder on the outside.  Make myself less accessible to others.  And sometimes that makes me seem harsh and uncaring.  And nothing could be farther from the truth. 

     From my childhood, only two girls stand out.  Pam and Cathy.  They hated each other.  The only thing they had in common was me.  I think about them from time to time and wonder how their lives have turned out.

     There were women in the Air Force that I was friends with for short periods of time.  And I wonder how their lives changed.  Did they stay in, meet a guy or woman and get out?  Many of the decisions that I made in the military, and opportunities that I gave up were based on whatever Significant Other I had at the time.  Boy do I regret some of those mistakes.  The opportunities would have turned into something MUCH better than the relationship with the man or woman did.  Water under that preverbial bridge though.

     I have worked for many employers in my time as well.  Some I felt had my best interest at heart, others not so much.  For some, I was just a way to advance themselves and their agenda.  Sad, but another learning experience.  “What goes around….”you know the rest.

     I have friends now that mean a lot to me and I hope that they know it.  Some I haven’t talked to in months.  But that doesn’t mean that I don’t think about them.  Others that chose to turn their back on our friendship have moved on with their lives.  And although some things are for the best, there will be a little less sunshine in both of our lives without the other person there.

     Many things that I have done in my life regarding people I would never change.  Even the heartache that others have caused me, and I them was a chance to build character and learn about “the human experience”.  And just so you know that I’m not all noble and such…..there a few out there that can just plain kiss my ass! Not having my friendship in your life is your loss and not mine.

Ahhhhh…..I feel better now.  Let’s get this week movin !!!

peace,

Cinnamon

     Today, instead of my usual Tuesday quotes, I thought I’d talk about a couple of things that drive me nuts, bonkers, whacko, or just plain crazy.  Now, to those that know me; you might say that it’s a short trip to drive me crazy most of the time.  And you’d be right.  I can’t stand it when things don’t make sense.  When I run into illogical ideas or people it’s all I can do to be polite and walk away without saying something.  But when I am constantly bombarded on the t.v. with things that are just stupid in my mind that’s different.  The husband has come into the room wanting to know what I had just said, thinking it was directed at him; when really it was just me yelling at the t.v.  Today I’m going to give a couple of examples of things that make no sense to me.  I wonder if there is anyone else on the planet that feels this way.

     The first are the infomercials that advertise things  that ALWAYS cost $19.95.  Whether they are some dumb fold up binder type of thing that will magically get you to be more organized (yeah right), or some kind of stupid purse that holds everything but the kitchen sink, or some hair product that you just can’t live without.  All that would be fine except for the fact that NOT ONLY can you purchase this wonder item for $19.95…..but if you act right now  you can get TWO of them for that astounding price.  Oh, but wait !!!  There’s more.  If you act now, you can also get additional free items along with the piece of crap that you’ve spent $19.95 on, after roping one of your friends to go in halves with you so that you can get TWO of them.  Now comes the part that makes me insane.  The free stuff.  These people have the nerve to tell you that it’s a $40.00 value.  And you’re getting it free.  My question is this:  If it’s a $40.00 value…..why don’t you sell it for $40.00?  Why would you give it away for free?  You don’t know me.  You’re not my buddy that wants to cut me some slack and give me this stuff for nothing.  And if I’ve never seen it on the market before, how can you place that $40.00 value tag on it?????  HOW?  Am I alone here?  Are these people so bold as to think I am guillible enough to buy two pieces of crap for $19.95 in order to get an additional $40.00 worth of free crap?  Do they love me so much that stuff they can’t sell is worth putting a value of $40.00 on it?  Ok, I’ll stop now.  But you get my point.  And can see why I throw things at the t.v.  I’m not really sure which part of it makes me the most nuts, but we’ll drop it there.

     The next item on my list of “headed to the funny farm” things is this:  The “new” shows on the tube.  The ones that are the most blatantly insane to me are the crime shows.  The CSI types.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love those type of shows.  But I like the old ones like Law and Order.  Back in these days.  I also like the SVU series, and the CI series too.  But the new ones that they have on like the ones that have all the young people in them. Young, and beautiful, and fit and SMART.  People under 30 that act like they have been on the job for at least 20 years.  You just don’t get the kind of expertise that some of these kids have on these shows by going to school.  Where are all the old actors?  How can all these crimes be solved by people that look like they would be more at home on a catwalk than tracking cat burglars.  Now they are even re-doing “Hawaii Five-O”.  We used to laugh at Jack Lord because his hair never got messed up.  All you might see was that one little curl that would hang down on his forehead.  But at least he was older.  And so were the people that he worked with.  Danno, and Chin Ho, and Kono.  Now, Kono is going to be played by a female.  My point is this:  Some things need to be left alone.  Some movies and shows should be off limits for being re-done.  But if you are going to re-do them, at least stay with the original premise of the show.  Everything doesn’t have to be PC.  I think it all started when “The Wizard of Oz” was re-done as “The Wiz”.  Nothing against that adaptation, but it wasn’t the same.  And then there was “The Wild Wild West”.  A t.v. show that I grew up with and looked forward too every Friday night.  My Mom would go to town and get pizza (that still came on a round disk in a paper bag) and bottles of Pepsi for the four of us kids.  We would watch “The Green “Hornet”, “Time Tunnel”, and “The Wild Wild West”  As much as I admire and like Will Smith as an actor and a personality he was just wrong for the part of James West.  I understand that the younger generation will say that all the special effects in these re-done movies and t.v. shows is for the best, and that maybe I’m just an old fogie.  And that’s probably true too.  But some things are just better as the original.

     Well, that’s the rant for the day.  Hope I’m not alone in feeling some of this.  And I might as well admit that I did buy the “Space Saver” bags from the t.v.  And they were great….while at home.  Where I could load them up and suck all the air out of them.  But I made the mistake of using them to pack a suitcase full once.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to explain to a hotel desk that you need to borrow a vaccum so you can re-pack your suitcase?  Never again !

peace,

Cinnamon

     I was going to write today on the value of truth and the struggle to maintain it.  So many times in life we cringe when we are asked something that we aren’t comfortable answering.   And it can feel so much easier to tell that little white lie, or in some cases the great big fat lie.  It’s all about avoiding the confrontation, or the consequences of our answer.  If we tell the truth, we may have to answer for our actions.  If we tell the truth, someone else’s feelings may get hurt, or they may think less of us.  Sometimes, it’s just easier to lie and move on.   Get past the look, move away from the punishment.  But the moment that we speak the lie; it’s as though a thread flies out of our body, pinning us to the spot where we told the lie.  We can stretch away from it…it’s very flexible at first.  But each time that we must re-tell the lie, the thread gets thicker and less flexible.  Before long it becomes an anchor tying us down in place.  It’s hard to escape the lie.  If you tell one lie, you must continue to tell it, or tell other lies to cover it up.  I frankly am not very good at lying.  And that surprises me because I have a very good imagination.  Maybe my  mind is so full of things that I think about that there isn’t any room for lies that I must maintain.  It’s like a garden.  Thoughts come and go.  The ones that I want to mature and grow, I must take care of.  And lies require too much effort.

     I always told my son that he was going to do things, and get in trouble for doing them, but that he’d get in more trouble if he lied about it.  Most of the time he remembered that, but being a kid it was his duty to try to get away with lying about this or that.  I’ve done it too.  We have all called into work and said we were sick just because we didn’t feel like going in.  And aren’t those the absolute best days off?  I’ve gotten more done when I should have been at work, and it felt so good.  I don’t know if I was subconsciously trying to make up for the lie by getting a lot done around the house or what it was, but man it felt good.  Watching the door, and listening for the phone, checking caller ID in case someone from work calls to check on me.  But then, that next day is tricky.  You have to go back to work and act “sick”, or sort of sick.  Even a 24 hour bug leaves you weak and not quite up to par the next day.  Can’t act like your normal self or they will know it was a lie.  That’s the best example of maintaining the lie that I can think of.  By the end of that day I am worn out.

     Is it easy to tell the truth?  Oh hell no.  My honesty has gotten me in so much trouble sometimes I want to slap myself.  Being politically correct, or saying what people want to hear instead of what I really feel leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, and I don’t like that.  There have been times when saying what I truly thought has probably cost me promotions or even friendships.  But for the people who I am close to there are no doubts in their minds.  They know that if they ask me something they must first be prepared to hear my answer.  I do try to be kind, but it will be what I really think…..and that may be tough.  Don’t ask….and I won’t tell.  For me, honesty is the only policy.

peace,

Cinnamon

     Dare I say it?  I’m a hard ass.  I expect a lot from people.  I get my feelings hurt when others don’t see my point of view on things.  Even though I know that my intentions are good, it still amazes me that people find new and different ways to disappoint me everyday.  I spend entirely too much time trying to see other’s frame of reference.  And this has to stop.  It is the same trait, that has gotten our country in so much trouble.  Being tolerant of others.  Being open to opinions of others that do not represent our own values.  Isn’t it strange; that the very thing that makes us good Americans can lead us to be a “bad” parent?  No matter how hard we try to be good to someone; whether our own children or family members, or another country, we get our feelings hurt when they take our kindness for weakness.

     I had wanted to stay away from political posts of any kind.  Sometimes I feel a message can be lost if it is cloaked in a political view.  Mainly because the reader will totally miss the point of the blog if they don’t share the same political views.  It has happened to me on more occasions than I care to comment on.  People who respect my opinion on a “lifestyle” issue will suddenly say that they “don’t know who I am” because of something that I have posted on a political forum somewhere.  It doesn’t change who I am.  Or how I see things in regards to lifestyle matters.  But because my view on our country may be more conservative than theirs….my value in giving advice may be lessened.  Some, this may bother.  But not me.  I’m not here to win the hearts and minds of anyone.  Only to humbly try to offer advice and experience based on my life and what I have lived through.  In point:  As horrible as 9/11 was, and the aftermath of that day until now has been; did we learn from it?  Was our tolerance and open door policy toward our country’s safety tested to the fullest extent of the word?  Will we ever let things like that happen again?  I wonder.  There have still been terrorist activities in our country.  NYC bomber, Ft. Hood, the underwear bomber to name a few.  We have thwarted some of those attempts, but been very hurt by some as well.  Now the question of the Ground Zero Mosque is in the news.  Some say not to worry…they will never get the funding for it.  And those people bury their heads in the sand.  If we are to be tolerant of other’s religion (even though you would NEVER see a Christian church in Mecca) must they not also be tolerant of the pain that building this mosque in that location would bring?  I don’t buy the argument that there isn’t space anywhere else.  Just like I don’t buy the argument that we can’t keep the borders safe.  Make no mistake about either of these issues; the mosque and the borders, we are being tested.  Our country was founded on the fundamental rights of others to come from somewhere else and make this their home.  If they follow the rules, and don’t try to destroy our way of life.  Those are not horrible rules to follow to live in this great country.  But they are rules that must be adhered to.  And punishment for not obeying needs to be swift and sure.

     I equate the failure of our country’s vigilance and over abundance of tolerance to the mistakes that I and other parents have made with our children.  I was raised on a dairy farm.  If you’ve followed any of my blogs, you already know that I was raised with many rules and restrictions.  And I’m a better person for it.  But there were many things that I didn’t get to do as a kid that I vowed I would make sure my son got to do.  And because of it, I wasn’t as strict as my parents.  I gave in easier to the things that my son wanted in life.  And although I can brag honestly that he is a wonderful person and good-hearted through and through…..I can also tell you that his work ethic stinks and he’s a lazy teenager.  I am hoping like hell that he gets over that when he goes out into the world.  But it’s not going to be easy for him.  He will have to play catch up with other people his age who have already fought and scrapped for a job and their place in the world.  I did not spoil my son.  No designer clothes or fancy gadgets.  But he did have some things that I never even dreamed of when I was growing up.  And he has never had to “work” on the farm like my brother, sisters and I had to.  But like I said, he is a good person.  He’s funny, imaginative and sincere.  But those things could make him easy prey for disappointment and heartache.  I hope not.  I also hope that my tolerance of his lazy ways and lackadaisical attitude don’t cause others to see him as an easy mark.  The balance that we try for, sometimes ends up a trade-off.  I just don’t want my son to be a victim of and a payback for, my tolerance.

God Bless America

I love you Jesse

Cinnamon


Goofy Me

I am: an Air Force vet, Mom, sister, friend, Lifestyler, and all-around smartass with a heart of gold. I have lived all over the far East and learned many things about people and cooking, art and true value. I like to share my experience with the rest of the world. I will be the most loyal friend or most annoying enemy you've ever known. Honest to a fault. My life has not always been easy, but it has never ever been boring.

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